inaugural assassins

door county..... that was that. now i am home, and returned pleasantly to find an arsenal of pens at my disposal. (pleasant surprise, i love you mom.) walked over to daniel's in a sweater in the -19 degree weather. i have never felt so rebellious in my life. i continued my rebellion for the remainder of the evening, and even contemplated walking further, but decided against it on account of the fact that i cannot contract any sicknesses for the time being. it just isn't in my plans.

it seems that the planning for the gallery is coming along. anne arbor, michigan is our destination. if everything goes according to plan, i'll go to school there and live with drew. he's a nice boy. (it will be like playing house in the fifties. while living in our own eighties.)

for some reason, i'm feeling social tonight. (i'll stay inside until the feeling goes away.) i've been drinking too much tea and reading too many words that are calling me to actions i cannot be held responsible for. now that i think about it, i'd like not to be responsible at all.

responsibility is so tiring...

here i am again, masquerading before all, because there is little else, although i want more. after reading steppenwolf, i can justify, but think it's more or less making an excuse to be an exclusionary elitist... i don't want that. i'd really like to be able to just laugh. i don't remember the last time i did that. (that means it's been too long...) but it's as if though the people who i laughed with have evolved into new constellations. oh god, constellations can make me cry.